I have just been looking back at 2013. The year started so innocuously, I had resolutions and things I hoped would achieve that year. Little did I know that a seismic shift was going to totally alter my life as I knew it.
One moment my world was fine and in the blink of an eye I was put into a toxic situation where I had no option but to navigate my way through the chaos. Looking back I can see how I was a totally different person. I was a person who was somewhat naive and trusting of the world and of those around me; I also was a person who inherently believed in a natural sense of justice.
The person I am now couldn't be anymore different. I wouldn't say I am bitter but I am angry. I am, of course, angry about the affair and the repercussions it has had on so many people's lives. It has caused so much pain and trauma.
However, the one thing that probably makes me feel so sad is that outside forces can come and turn your life upside down, such as the affair. You have no control over that and if you try to rebel against it it makes your situation worse. The bottom line is that you and your family, as you knew it, have been decieved and betrayed by one of your own! Everyone else may sympathise or take your pain as a spectator sport, either way their lives go on uninterrupted but yours! Instead, you are left to pick up the pieces and try and get your life back on track with what's left of your heartbroken family in tow.
...Why does the pain of an affair hurt so much? That question can only be truly answered by those who have experienced it, and as someone who has, I hope this blog can offer some insight to the agony that you are facing.