Today, whilst at work, I was thinking of how our minds can be hijacked from us. If we really think about it, sometimes are minds and our time are given over to things that are not beneficial to us. In this scenario it was the affair. It doesn't dominate my every waking moment like it did in the beginning but it is always there in some capacity. However, I decided to analyse my thinking moments between work tasks. What I came up with was that this life, my life, needs to be lived now on my terms. Part of those terms is valuing myself as best as I possibly can and it was in those moments that I thought that the here and now is mine. I should not give it over to my betrayers. They are not worthy of it and besides I don't want to spend such precious time when they are probably not given any thought to me. What I am trying to say is that I am trying to claim back my life bit by bit and part of the healing process is trying to give such precious time and energy to myself in the most positive way possible. It is ongoing but as they say, every goal starts with that first step and to get there takes one step at a time!
...Why does the pain of an affair hurt so much? That question can only be truly answered by those who have experienced it, and as someone who has, I hope this blog can offer some insight to the agony that you are facing.