I have been frequenting the brilliant website known as The Healing Heart over the past few days. It saddens me when more and more people join this network because of the circumstances they are now in through no choice of their own i.e betrayal by an affair. All the posts are so incredibly supportive and there is one theme that finally resonates with me now which I didn't see before because I couldn't see it, and that is affairs are an illusion. They are fantasies lived out in secret. For those participating in it, it must be a fix, a thrill, a kick or whatever you want to call it. Either way it is an escape from the day to day existence of ordinary, everyday life. That life includes, paying the bills, looking after children, washing, cooking, cleaning etc. I imagine being in an affair bubble must be like being transported away from that ordinary world to another where everything is vibrant and alive because of the fix that the affair partner gives to the other. It is an alternate reality or better still it is an illusion. That person who is giving you that fix is only showing you what they want you to see. I now understand it and now that I do, my sorry saga saddens me even more. If I had been a little more wiser i.e trusted my instincts, I would have been able to perhaps nip the whole thing in the bud, or maybe not, who knows. Either way, I wish I had the foresight to follow those instincts through. For those of you out there who may have a niggling suspicion that your other half is cheating on you trust that suspicion and follow it through.
...Why does the pain of an affair hurt so much? That question can only be truly answered by those who have experienced it, and as someone who has, I hope this blog can offer some insight to the agony that you are facing.