The loss of friendships when relationships break down is very painful indeed. You don't expect that to happen when you and your partner split up. If anything you do not envisage it at all. It makes it even more painful when the break up is very nasty. In this situation the loss of friendships have been many for me. A lot of them, as I stated in previous posts, have taken their side. Some have done so because of family connections so the choice was easy for them. Others, such as mutual friends, have opted to stay friends with my ex-partner. That is mainly due to the fact that they were friends with him long before I was ever on the scene.
However, a few have been sympathetic and do see the immorality and the nastiness of the situation, and I know when they see my child they ask how I am and pass on their love. In some respects, it is like I have died! Connections have been severed but the memory of me still lives on! I am now seen as a tragic being who had her life turned upside down by the two people who should have been close to her. My name and memory is now mentioned in hushed tones by those who were once so close! Quite funny really.
Unfortunately, there are those who are not that kind. To add to this loss of friendships, some of the more spiteful of the group have taken to social media to make subtle comments and digs which is very hurtful. It makes me realise that we never truly leave the playground or that playground mentality. The tools we have to taunt and bully our victims is at our fingertips and we can do it now for the whole world to see. My reaction to this is to ignore it. To go and do the same thing would be going down a dangerous road indeed. It would be very toxic. It has left me feeling that people quite easily can turn very nasty indeed and if they want to they really don't need much of an excuse to round up on someone and be the bully.
Truly, people who have affairs do not realise the hurt that they cause or the repercussions of their actions.
...Why does the pain of an affair hurt so much? That question can only be truly answered by those who have experienced it, and as someone who has, I hope this blog can offer some insight to the agony that you are facing.