Last night I was thinking about what boundaries mean to us as individuals. Some, have no concept of them. They feel they can cross them without consent. Others, through a myriad of reasons, are fearful of expressing of what those boundaries are. As result, when these unfortunate souls come into contact with the above mentioned they end up eventually being hurt, just like I did!
The chain of thoughts that these concepts set off in my mind just went on and on. However, this morning when I went back to them a couple
of things struck me. Firstly, with regards to betrayal, we all know that our boundaries have been blown wide open by the offending parties and part of the struggle is trying to build up those
boundaries again. However, secondly and more importantly, is that when we begin to heal we need to learn and remember that we are of value and worth. If your relationship has been damaged by
infidelity and betrayal then there are a couple of options available to you. If you feel you want to go on in your relationship, your spouse or partner has got to put in the ground work not only for
themselves but for you also, and that means showing you the love and respect that you deserve. If you choose the alternative, and that is to leave your partner, and will still have some contact in
some capacity, again they need to show you respect. You are the injured
party. It is not down to you to seek some form of affirmation from those who have caused you so much pain.
If you keep in mind that your time on this Earth is both short and precious and that whilst you are here, those who come into contact with you need to be worthy and deserving of your time and you! If you can embed this in your psyche it will be a victory for your self-esteem and well being. Think of it as driving directions to your road to peace and happiness!
...Why does the pain of an affair hurt so much? That question can only be truly answered by those who have experienced it, and as someone who has, I hope this blog can offer some insight to the agony that you are facing.