The weather has been glorious! As always we are never prepared for it and then when it comes we complain that it is too hot! I for one am going to enjoy it.
However, this again, is a distraction from the horrible situation. As I have staed in my previous post 'How to deal with a painful peace' The heat of the situation has died down but what is left is very ugly and it is horrible having to adapt to it. Two broken families having to deal with the two protagonists who caused this! What makes this worse is that they have now assumed the moral high ground!
Their argument is that ok what we did was wrong but we are together now, co-operate with us for the sake of the children and let's all get on as friends! From the outside this may seem like a reasonable request but when you are in the mix the last thing you want is to have anything to do with your betrayers. You want to be a million miles away from them!
Unfortunately for the betrayed, there comes a point where no-one really cares about the pain that you are feeling. What makes it even worse is is that they cannot see the scars. Believe me, your soul will have taken quite a battering from being betrayed in such a way the only thing you can do is let the passage of time heal the very deep wounds that have been inflicted upon you.
Advice from those who mean well or even those who really don't care is to get over it and move on. Well I say this, you cannot do that if you have to maintain some level of contact because the reminder of what they have done is constantly there. Instead, I feel, you have to adjust and adapt and believe me that is far harder than moving on.
...Why does the pain of an affair hurt so much? That question can only be truly answered by those who have experienced it, and as someone who has, I hope this blog can offer some insight to the agony that you are facing.