Well, the last time I posted on here was towards the end of 2015. It is now 2016. I haven't been able to post any updates because I have taken time out to process information and have a review of my life over the past couple of years or rather since the affair became public knowledge. When I look back from then until now the whole situation was and still is toxic. The difference now, though, is that the anger and pain that so fuelled me and my day to day existence has subsided a great deal but it hasn't gone. However, the main feeling now is one of injustice and the sheer immorality of it all. I look at it now and wonder how they can live with themselves and that is the point. My perspective is not theirs and theirs is not mine. There comes a point where you have to turn your head away from those who have betrayed you and not give them an ounce of your time and energy. It's an uphill struggle to do that but in the end it will be worth it (I am still on that path!). I have also changed to the point where I feel have been reborn. I now feel that I am of worth and that although my self-esteem and confidence had taken a battering from the affair, it is beginning to rise again and it will take full flight like a phoenix from the ashes. To those of you out there who have experienced the pain of an affair and infidelity, remember time is your friend and you will heal. You'll never forget what happened but you will come out of it as a much stronger person! 2016 has to be and will be a new beginning for me.
...Why does the pain of an affair hurt so much? That question can only be truly answered by those who have experienced it, and as someone who has, I hope this blog can offer some insight to the agony that you are facing.