Actually, I know I am beginning to heal because the cruel things that have been said to me since the affair happened do not seem to have the devastating impact that they did initially. Now, I can feel somewhat detached from it. An example of some of what was said was when my ex said to me, 'the best thing you can do is fuck off out of all of our lives' to add to this he said, '....the affair is your fault!'
When you have spent many years with someone and have children with them that is not what you want or expect to hear from them when your relationship comes to an abrupt end. If they have had an affair you would expect some element of remorse on their part. Not for me! I got it both barrels: I was at fault that he chose to have an affair! His poor choice was down to me! Furthermore, ex-friend pointed out that I should be grateful to her as she had 'freed me up to find someone else!' Add that to the state of shock, anger, grief and mourning that we all feel when we are on the receiving end of an affair and you have a recipe for a total meltdown. But I didn't have one. I kept on going although I was in a Zombie like state! Something inside of me was so determined that this wasn't going to destroy me. It couldn't. I had no choice but to carry on. My life story cannot be defined by this horror. It has to progress now into something that is so positive.
Which brings me back to the healing process and how amazing it is. To be able to start looking back at what was said and done and not give it the power it once had over me is nothing short of a miracle!
Life will be sweet and delicious again!
...Why does the pain of an affair hurt so much? That question can only be truly answered by those who have experienced it, and as someone who has, I hope this blog can offer some insight to the agony that you are facing.