In reference to my last post, I would like to add that the healing and grieving process for my part has been pretty awful. My pain, anger and grief was used against me. In essence I wasn't allowed to grieve the loss of my relationship and my family. This was further compounded when he decided to turn the knife that bit more and take me to court over custody of our child. Added to this, he had ex-friend behind him being pious and believing that my pain and grief was an indication that all was not right and that he was justified in what he was doing! For those who have just joined this blog: my ex-friend had an affair with my partner, walked out on her family to move in with him and then felt that my child should live with them.
Added to this that she is a 'pious Christian' who believes in the second coming and that Satan is amongst us!!!! You really couldn't make this up but they are the facts! My way of dealing with this is to keep as far away from them as possible, but I digress. The point that I wanted to make was that I have been into the abyss and I am just making my way out of it. How I have done it, I do not know. However, now that my ex is out of the affair 'fog', I believe the realisation of what he has done and the ripple effect of his actions are now beginning to overwhelm him considerably. The grieving process for him, I feel is just beginning and whether he will heal from his actions, is another matter. ....I have said this before and I'll say it again: for those who are in the midst of grief because of an affair I say to you write it all down. It is cathartic. The sense of dealing with such pain by writing it down cannot be underestimated! For your own sanity, do it!
...Why does the pain of an affair hurt so much? That question can only be truly answered by those who have experienced it, and as someone who has, I hope this blog can offer some insight to the agony that you are facing.